Eloise is the sad, mad, and hermetic heroine at the center of Lucy Ellmann’s hilarious new novel. A middle-aged ceilist who hides herself away in a tiny British cottage, she blames the world for its lack of love, and similarly despises it for its anger. Not until her beloved cello is stolen — and her former lover, an American poet named George, returns — does Eloise emerge from her shell. It is then that she and a myriad cast of schemers, cheats, and lovers descend upon a small Irish village and its inhabitants.